Hug O' War

I will not play at tug o' war

I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs

Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses
And everyone grins
And everyone cuddles

And everyone wins.

-Shel Silverstein

Sweet denial

Snow. Rain season is gone along with it. I was getting all grouchy because of it. However, even though the wind is unbearable, the snow is only pretty for a millisecond, and the ice deadly, I have come to a delightful conclusion. I lived through it all, didn't I? I did. I keep telling myself, it wasn't that bad, you'll be okay. And then, today, worst day yet, I finally believed myself. Here's why. Obviously, today had to be the peak of winter, and therefore it should be slowly warming up and we're quickly hopping into spring. :)

The worst should be over.

What a relief.

*applause*

A- in Pre-Calculus!

YAY.

I am so happy. :D

even when your hope is gone.

I pray that we make it through,

make it through the fall,

make it through it all.

Cuz I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with you.

I beg of you, please.

Things are looking up. :)

But grrrz. What is my problem?

:S

Yeah, shut it. I know.

Just let me pretend like I don't know.

Kira's Big Discovery.

Kira: Do you like Twilight?

Me: Sure. It was a good book.

Kira: Do you like LOVE it?

Me: Uhh. I don't know.

Kira: I know what you mean. It's a little weird. Bella's odd.

Me: Well, you know how Mormons are...haha..

Kira: Bella's Mormon?!

Me: Lol! No.

Kira: EDWARD's Mormon?!?!

Me: Lol! No! The author's Mormon.

Kira: Oh really? No waaay..

Me: Yeah.

Kira: So that's what's with all the "forever" stuff.

Me: Of course. :P

it's so hard to forget

She put up a good nine-year-old fight.

I would've put up a harder one.

I could've made it hurt.

Why didn't it happen to me instead?

pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

I need a minuscule miracle. It really wouldn't take much at all. I just need it to work out without me ruining anything. I just need a little strength to keep me from backing out. Would it be too much to ask? Because I'm asking. I'll give all that I can, but I'm gonna need some help to give the rest. Nothing more. Nothing more than some help. Let anything else happen wrong. But not this. Help me be honest. Help me say it. Just let me say it. It's not huge. It's tiny. A minuscule miracle. So why is it so hard? Let it happen. Let me make it happen. I'll never forgive myself if I take the easy way out. Don't let me. Cuz you know I will without help. I will. Let me know if you'll be there. Don't let me down. I owe it to myself and to him too.

Be there.
I deserve a minuscule miracle, after all.

it takes two to whisper quietly

Here comes that feeling again. All I had to do was stand in the cold, wait for my ride, think of you. Time passing so incredibly slow. The stars mocked my obsessive intensity while I'm all alone. Laying on the grass is my Chemistry textbook, unfinished homework hanging in the back of my distracted mind. I lie down next to it and rub my freezing hands against each other. Curl up in a ball. Close my eyes. Send a mental text to my dad to hurry. My jacket's too thin. It's always too thin. School's too long. A month is too long. Three weeks is much much too long. I sit up trying to remember the lyrics to that song, so that I can relate it to us. I imagine the bushes move. I imagine a dark figure stepping from behind them and towards me. I smile at nothing and the stars begin mocking again. I shiver back into reality and forget what I was doing laying on the grass in the first place. The lyrics don't work even when I change them. I look over my shoulder at the vacated parking lot every so often wondering if anyone is laughing at my cracking voice, humming as soft as I can. But only the stars are laughing. For some reason lay back down and look right up at my mocker. And I stop singing. I start to cry. I cry as soft as I can manage. Silly, silly, silly. I stop myself before the stars notice. I put my hood on to protect my sensitive ears and

wait

wait

wait.

Wave at missionaries.

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth, turns slowly.

We need to get a piano!

As a child I found my strength,

from the people around me

who helped me build my foundation.

Guiding me, patiently.

Now I'm building my faith on my own

these walls feel heavy and harder to hold against strong winds

pushing on in from the world.

They say it's my life
I can do what I want with it
my life's in my hands.
I find every choice has a consequence, I don't understand,

it's my life.

Soon I craved freedom,

consumed by pride,

I faced temptations that lured me outside of my shelter.

Neglected, it fell to the ground.

Now I'm surrounded by piles of stone,
I can not rebuild this fortress alone, as I stumble.
Another wall crumbles down.

They say it's my life
I can do what I want with it
my life's in my hands.
I find every choice has a consequence, I don't understand,
it's my life.

Through the open air,

I was wandering and weak

while those walls were made,

to strengthen me, protecting me.

I thought I lost everything, I was wrong.

My foundation was there all along, and humble.

I kneel down and start again.

My Savior, picks up the pieces I can't.

It's my life,

I'll do what he wants me to.

My life's in his hands.

I know it takes work, but I'm willing to fight to further his plan,

through my life.

i woke up to

frost kissing the grass.

I walked to school

besweatered, bejacketed.
This was my attempt at protection. The sharp wind refused to acknowledge it.
I passed a group of football players wearing t-shirts.

I felt like I should hold onto my breath, the only warmth left.

and breathe sparingly.

The word: frigid. APPLIES.

The lipgloss in my pocket froze up in weird chunks
sure wished I could move my fingers
or maybe feel my toes.

I'm not so sure I like October in Cedar.