13ft Deep Thoughts

Zesty

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 22:03:00 +0000

You're better than you think you are

and I know you will go so far

You have such possibility

your masterpiece, dancing inside me.

Gone crazy, won't be home soon,

I'm singing songs to the moon.

My new pet butterflies swirl

and dancing on the edge I twirl.

Your faraway controlled expression,

leaves me haunted with obsession,

Your honest eyes,

they search me as I realize,

they won't admire what I fake,

but you keep my heart awake.

new pet butterflies.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:39:00 +0000

Tear away my fall-back option.
Take away the safety net below me.
I'm taking my chances as I go,
because life is more than just survival.
Love is what sets me free,
now just a little faith is all I need.

I'm not good enough, because I'm too good.
I have a confession.

Cages or wings?

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:45:00 +0000

Why do we play with fire?
Why do we run our fingers through the flame?
Why do we leave our hand on the stove, although we know it'll cause some pain?
Why do we refuse to hang a light when the streets are dangerous?
Why does it take an accident before the truth gets through to us?

Why should we blaze a trail when the well-worn path seems safe and
so inviting?

Why do we stay with lovers who we know, down deep, just aren't right?
Why would we rather put ourselves through hell, than sleep alone at night?

Fear or love?
Don't say the answer.
Actions speak louder than words.

Snow with Roland.<3

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:47:00 +0000

i eat novels for breakfast

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:42:00 +0000

most important meal of the day. :P

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:00:00 +0000

Why?

Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights,
Stand the heroes waiting for your cries.
So many times you did not bring this on yourself,
When that moment finally comes,
I'll be there to help.

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,
I'll be right here.
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,
We'll always be ready because we will always be there.

When there are people crying in the streets,
When they're starving for a meal to eat,
When they simply need a place to make their beds,
Right here underneath my wing,
You can rest your head.

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,
I'll be right here!
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,
We'll always be ready because we will always be there...

There... there... there...

Hope and pray that you'll never need me,
But rest assured I will not let you down.
I'll walk beside you but you may not see me,
The strongest among you may not wear a crown.

guitar lessons

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 05:15:00 +0000

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

if I were a fruit I wouldn't be in season

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:33:00 +0000

boys.
beauty.
destructive.

Doesn't it seem like when guys find something absolutely beautiful,
they, with immense pleasure, proceed to destroy it in the most uncreative ways possible?

EH.
Irritation.

Confused without you.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:31:00 +0000

Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you. Confused without you.

Nanonanonanonanonanonanonanonanonano.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:37:00 +0000

i just can't sing it loud enough.
It's not enough to say that I miss you.

Nothing's enough.

I wrestled with my sheets, tossing and turning back and forth for a good four hours. I got up and paced my room, turned on the radio and cursed the night sky. The moon smiled back at me, mocking my attempts at anger. I needed him so bad. I needed his safe arms around me and then I’d fall right asleep.

~~~

I felt someone tugging me away from him. Pulling me upwards. “No!” My scream echoed through the valley but he ignored me. Or maybe he couldn’t hear me. His face blured, grew distant and then my eyes fluttered open. All I saw was the musty beige-to-white ceiling of my bedroom. There was a knock on my door. “Heather?”

the voice running through my head

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:39:00 +0000

"No, really, you have an amazing voice."

"No, really, you have an amazing voice."

"You should try. You'd do really good."
"You're such a good person, and all good people try out. ;)"

"No, really, you have an amazing voice."

Crocodiles

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:58:00 +0000

Mutilated,
shaking,
Could you be a little more perfect
for just a moment?

Unsuspecting, unpredictable, unfair.
But I was warned.
So there's no more laughing at that.

What will hurt more?

Hug O' War

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:14:00 +0000

I will not play at tug o' war

I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs

Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses
And everyone grins
And everyone cuddles

And everyone wins.

-Shel Silverstein

Sweet denial

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:16:00 +0000

Snow. Rain season is gone along with it. I was getting all grouchy because of it. However, even though the wind is unbearable, the snow is only pretty for a millisecond, and the ice deadly, I have come to a delightful conclusion. I lived through it all, didn't I? I did. I keep telling myself, it wasn't that bad, you'll be okay. And then, today, worst day yet, I finally believed myself. Here's why. Obviously, today had to be the peak of winter, and therefore it should be slowly warming up and we're quickly hopping into spring. :)

The worst should be over.

What a relief.

applause

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:43:00 +0000

A- in Pre-Calculus!

YAY.

I am so happy. :D

even when you're hope is gone.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:38:00 +0000

I pray that we make it through,

make it through the fall,

make it through it all.

Cuz I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with you.

I beg of you, please.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:44:00 +0000

Things are looking up. :)

But grrrz. What is my problem?

Yeah, shut it. I know.

Just let me pretend like I don't know.

Kira's Big Discovery.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 05:03:00 +0000

Kira: Do you like Twilight?

Me: Sure. It was a good book.

Kira: Do you like LOVE it?

Me: Uhh. I don't know.

Kira: I know what you mean. It's a little weird. Bella's odd.

Me: Well, you know how Mormons are...haha..

Kira: Bella's Mormon?!

Me: Lol! No.

Kira: EDWARD's Mormon?!?!

Me: Lol! No! The author's Mormon.

Kira: Oh really? No waaay..

Me: Yeah.

Kira: So that's what's with all the "forever" stuff.

Me: Of course. :P

it's so hard to forget

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:36:00 +0000

She put up a good nine-year-old fight.

I would've put up a harder one.

I could've made it hurt.

Why didn't it happen to me instead?

pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:21:00 +0000

I need a minuscule miracle. It really wouldn't take much at all. I just need it to work out without me ruining anything. I just need a little strength to keep me from backing out. Would it be too much to ask? Because I'm asking. I'll give all that I can, but I'm gonna need some help to give the rest. Nothing more. Nothing more than some help. Let anything else happen wrong. But not this. Help me be honest. Help me say it. Just let me say it. It's not huge. It's tiny. A minuscule miracle. So why is it so hard? Let it happen. Let me make it happen. I'll never forgive myself if I take the easy way out. Don't let me. Cuz you know I will without help. I will. Let me know if you'll be there. Don't let me down. I owe it to myself and to him too.

Be there.
I deserve a minuscule miracle, after all.

it takes two to whisper quietly

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Here comes that feeling again. All I had to do was stand in the cold, wait for my ride, think of you. Time passing so incredibly slow. The stars mocked my obsessive intensity while I'm all alone. Laying on the grass is my Chemistry textbook, unfinished homework hanging in the back of my distracted mind. I lie down next to it and rub my freezing hands against each other. Curl up in a ball. Close my eyes. Send a mental text to my dad to hurry. My jacket's too thin. It's always too thin. School's too long. A month is too long. Three weeks is much much too long. I sit up trying to remember the lyrics to that song, so that I can relate it to us. I imagine the bushes move. I imagine a dark figure stepping from behind them and towards me. I smile at nothing and the stars begin mocking again. I shiver back into reality and forget what I was doing laying on the grass in the first place. The lyrics don't work even when I change them. I look over my shoulder at the vacated parking lot every so often wondering if anyone is laughing at my cracking voice, humming as soft as I can. But only the stars are laughing. For some reason lay back down and look right up at my mocker. And I stop singing. I start to cry. I cry as soft as I can manage. Silly, silly, silly. I stop myself before the stars notice. I put my hood on to protect my sensitive ears and

wait

wait.

Wave at missionaries.

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:54:00 +0000

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth, turns slowly.

We need to get a piano!

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 13:43:00 +0000

As a child I found my strength,

from the people around me

who helped me build my foundation.

Guiding me, patiently.

Now I'm building my faith on my own

these walls feel heavy and harder to hold against strong winds

pushing on in from the world.

They say it's my life
I can do what I want with it
my life's in my hands.
I find every choice has a consequence, I don't understand,

it's my life.

Soon I craved freedom,

consumed by pride,

I faced temptations that lured me outside of my shelter.

Neglected, it fell to the ground.

Now I'm surrounded by piles of stone,
I can not rebuild this fortress alone, as I stumble.
Another wall crumbles down.

They say it's my life
I can do what I want with it
my life's in my hands.
I find every choice has a consequence, I don't understand,
it's my life.

Through the open air,

I was wandering and weak

while those walls were made,

to strengthen me, protecting me.

I thought I lost everything, I was wrong.

My foundation was there all along, and humble.

I kneel down and start again.

My Savior, picks up the pieces I can't.

It's my life,

I'll do what he wants me to.

My life's in his hands.

I know it takes work, but I'm willing to fight to further his plan,

through my life.

i woke up to

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:11:00 +0000

frost kissing the grass.

I walked to school

besweatered, bejacketed.
This was my attempt at protection. The sharp wind refused to acknowledge it.
I passed a group of football players wearing t-shirts.

I felt like I should hold onto my breath, the only warmth left.

and breathe sparingly.

The word: frigid. APPLIES.

The lipgloss in my pocket froze up in weird chunks
sure wished I could move my fingers
or maybe feel my toes.

I'm not so sure I like October in Cedar.

why

noreply@blogger.com (Tori) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:57:00 +0000

When it's nothing you can help.

When it's nothing you can stop.

When it's nothing fair.

When it's nothing you deserve.

When it's something you can't understand.

Then you feel like somehow it's your fault?