First there was a promsing navy blue streak
it lingered but swiftly faded.
A hopeful ray of emerald pierced the gray sky.
It was impossible to hold onto.
Right in time a brilliant blue filled the whole atmosphere
pentrating all doubt.
And is here to stay.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
__________________*sigh*_______________________
Suppose that I missed you
Suppose that I cared.
And suppose that I've spent all my nights running scared
And suppose that I was never there.
And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you.
So I guess I feel lonely, too.
Suppose we were happy,
Suppose it was true.
And suppose there were cold nights,
But we somehow made it through
And suppose that I'm nothing without you.
Slow way down,
This break down's eating me alive.
And I'm tired,
while this fight is fighting to survive.
Suppose that I was wrong,
Suppose you were here.
And suppose that I reached out and caught your tears
And suppose this just disappeared.
Suppose that I cared.
And suppose that I've spent all my nights running scared
And suppose that I was never there.
And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you.
So I guess I feel lonely, too.
Suppose we were happy,
Suppose it was true.
And suppose there were cold nights,
But we somehow made it through
And suppose that I'm nothing without you.
Slow way down,
This break down's eating me alive.
And I'm tired,
while this fight is fighting to survive.
Suppose that I was wrong,
Suppose you were here.
And suppose that I reached out and caught your tears
And suppose this just disappeared.
Life doesn't get much better...
Stranger by Secondhand Serenade
http://www.mp3.com/artist/secondhand-serenade/summary/
:')
http://www.mp3.com/artist/secondhand-serenade/summary/
:')
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
fifteen
You take a deep breath
And you walk through the doors
It's the mornin of your very first day
You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
And try to stay out of everybody's way
It's your freshman year
And you're gonna be here for the next 4 years
In this town
Hopin' one of those Senior boys
Will wink at you and say 'I haven't seen you around before'
Cuz when you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feelin' like there's nothin to figure out
Count to ten
Take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen
You sit in class next to red-head Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughi'n at the other girls
Who they think they're so cool
We'll be out of here as soon as we can
And then you're on your very first date
And he's got a car
And you're feelin like flyin
And you're momma's waitin up
And you're thinkin he's the one
And you're dancin around the room when the night ends
When the night ends
Cuz when you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
And your first kiss makes your head spin around
But in your life you'll do things
Greater than datin the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen
When all you wanted
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams in life
And Abigail gave everything she had
To a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried
Cuz when you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
at fifteen
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la...
You're very first day
Take a deep breath girl
And take a deep breath as you walk through the doors
And you walk through the doors
It's the mornin of your very first day
You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
And try to stay out of everybody's way
It's your freshman year
And you're gonna be here for the next 4 years
In this town
Hopin' one of those Senior boys
Will wink at you and say 'I haven't seen you around before'
Cuz when you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feelin' like there's nothin to figure out
Count to ten
Take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen
You sit in class next to red-head Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughi'n at the other girls
Who they think they're so cool
We'll be out of here as soon as we can
And then you're on your very first date
And he's got a car
And you're feelin like flyin
And you're momma's waitin up
And you're thinkin he's the one
And you're dancin around the room when the night ends
When the night ends
Cuz when you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
And your first kiss makes your head spin around
But in your life you'll do things
Greater than datin the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen
When all you wanted
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams in life
And Abigail gave everything she had
To a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried
Cuz when you're fifteen, somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
at fifteen
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la...
You're very first day
Take a deep breath girl
And take a deep breath as you walk through the doors
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Redundantly Repetitious
It's hard to be original and create your own ideas. But once we learn how, sometimes we get addicted to creation. Once we learn to shut off our own ideas, we can discover what everyone else has to add, and can improve what we had designed to create. Inspiration can't come from repetition.
This may sound like 1st Grade, but recently I made a new friend. :) He is what I would call an inspiration. Not many people view him as an inspiration, but he is. He has mastered what many never can: peace building. He is not a member of any church, and doesn't believe in everything I do, but he is a great example of Christlike behavior. He knows where I am broken. I thought only I knew that there was an unfinished puzzle inside me, but he is quietly sweeping up the shards. My friend is not a performer, he is an achiever, and he is most definitely not redundant. His ideas are similar to what stardust is made out of. His hope is impenetrable. His eyes disappear when he smiles. His laugh is frequent, contagious, and addictive. When the world laughs at him, he laughs along. He sings with feeling. He is inspiration.
And he's ruining my life.
This may sound like 1st Grade, but recently I made a new friend. :) He is what I would call an inspiration. Not many people view him as an inspiration, but he is. He has mastered what many never can: peace building. He is not a member of any church, and doesn't believe in everything I do, but he is a great example of Christlike behavior. He knows where I am broken. I thought only I knew that there was an unfinished puzzle inside me, but he is quietly sweeping up the shards. My friend is not a performer, he is an achiever, and he is most definitely not redundant. His ideas are similar to what stardust is made out of. His hope is impenetrable. His eyes disappear when he smiles. His laugh is frequent, contagious, and addictive. When the world laughs at him, he laughs along. He sings with feeling. He is inspiration.
And he's ruining my life.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Ocasionally Often
Sometimes people are selfless and give you your sweet time.
Sometimes that person is honest and means that.
Sometimes honesty is one of the most admirable traits a person can have.
Sometimes honesty is lonely, because everyone lies.
Sometimes lonely is good.
Because sometimes we deserve it.
Sometimes that person is honest and means that.
Sometimes honesty is one of the most admirable traits a person can have.
Sometimes honesty is lonely, because everyone lies.
Sometimes lonely is good.
Because sometimes we deserve it.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
guitar :)
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
15ft Deep Thoughts
As I recently celebrated my 15th birthday, I decided to break out my old notebooks from 2005-present, and I rediscovered this:
Feelings
Before Melissa can think, she feels. Before James has thoughts, he has emotions. Before there are reasons, there are reactions. Feelings come first. We must be touched by the lives of other to act morally. I'm not talking about liking other people. We may like someone or not. But we can still be moved by their fate and feel for their condition. Connecting with others that touch our lives is expressed with sympathy and empathy. People who lack empathy, who can't feel what another person feels, are cold and alienated. And cold, distant people scare us because we are afraid they will let us down, turn away from us when we most need them, or our break hearts without even knowing or caring that they have. Because humans can't survive alone, sensitivity toward the lives of others is vital. Feeling like you can be an even better person because of someone else is something that we take for granted. It keeps us alive. Without emotions we would be like someone who possesses intelligence enough to be able to analyze, but who lacks the emotional depth to be able to put that good skill to use. Everything would be equal; nothing would be more valuable or important than anything else. We wouldn't care. We would know we were making a mess, but would have no motivation to do anything about it. Our social lives would be in shambles, and we would know why, but we would lack the will to keep our good character intact.
But it's our decision all the same. When we feel for someone, when we are touched, we want to act on their behalf. The capacity to feel--to care--is what that motivation is. It is possible for someone to go through the motions and do the right thing, but still in a way, get it wrong. Doing the right thing is vital, but it's just as important that it's done with the right feeling. The point of helping in many cases is to reassure each other that we care, to show patience, loyalty, considerateness, and empathy.
The question is: Is there any way to educate a heart? I believe that feelings are either healthy or stifled. Our beginning feelings toward empathy and emotions are what we carry years, and years, until we have a definite reason to embrace or expel them. The idea that girls are emotional and guys aren't, makes us neglect the emotional lives of boys. Caring is the most important thing. Some people are expressive, some reserved, some emotional, some intellectual. No one personality type is more inclined to be caring. It is the awareness of feelings, not how they are expressed, that makes the difference. Helping others willingly, without expectation of an award, comes first form our feelings, as we reach our in an effort to bond to others. It is when feelings are hidden and out of view that they are the most dangerous.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself..."
People must hold themselves in high regard in order to extend themselves to others. If you thought you were a worthless person, then you would treat others as though they weren't worth anything either. Higher self-esteem = caring deeper for others.
Sometimes we let people orbit around our hearts, but never let them in, because we are frightened of changing the pattern. Why? Patterns make us feel complete, like we’re doing the right thing, and they don’t require the thing that scares almost everyone: change. The only one who knows that there is an unfinished puzzle in our soul is us, so if we hide that knowledge from ourselves, we tend to resort to other things to make us feel complete. Like patterns.
Not very organized, I know. Just thought I'd share. :)
There's a year full of emotions coming up. I better be ready for it.
Feelings
Before Melissa can think, she feels. Before James has thoughts, he has emotions. Before there are reasons, there are reactions. Feelings come first. We must be touched by the lives of other to act morally. I'm not talking about liking other people. We may like someone or not. But we can still be moved by their fate and feel for their condition. Connecting with others that touch our lives is expressed with sympathy and empathy. People who lack empathy, who can't feel what another person feels, are cold and alienated. And cold, distant people scare us because we are afraid they will let us down, turn away from us when we most need them, or our break hearts without even knowing or caring that they have. Because humans can't survive alone, sensitivity toward the lives of others is vital. Feeling like you can be an even better person because of someone else is something that we take for granted. It keeps us alive. Without emotions we would be like someone who possesses intelligence enough to be able to analyze, but who lacks the emotional depth to be able to put that good skill to use. Everything would be equal; nothing would be more valuable or important than anything else. We wouldn't care. We would know we were making a mess, but would have no motivation to do anything about it. Our social lives would be in shambles, and we would know why, but we would lack the will to keep our good character intact.
But it's our decision all the same. When we feel for someone, when we are touched, we want to act on their behalf. The capacity to feel--to care--is what that motivation is. It is possible for someone to go through the motions and do the right thing, but still in a way, get it wrong. Doing the right thing is vital, but it's just as important that it's done with the right feeling. The point of helping in many cases is to reassure each other that we care, to show patience, loyalty, considerateness, and empathy.
The question is: Is there any way to educate a heart? I believe that feelings are either healthy or stifled. Our beginning feelings toward empathy and emotions are what we carry years, and years, until we have a definite reason to embrace or expel them. The idea that girls are emotional and guys aren't, makes us neglect the emotional lives of boys. Caring is the most important thing. Some people are expressive, some reserved, some emotional, some intellectual. No one personality type is more inclined to be caring. It is the awareness of feelings, not how they are expressed, that makes the difference. Helping others willingly, without expectation of an award, comes first form our feelings, as we reach our in an effort to bond to others. It is when feelings are hidden and out of view that they are the most dangerous.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself..."
People must hold themselves in high regard in order to extend themselves to others. If you thought you were a worthless person, then you would treat others as though they weren't worth anything either. Higher self-esteem = caring deeper for others.
Sometimes we let people orbit around our hearts, but never let them in, because we are frightened of changing the pattern. Why? Patterns make us feel complete, like we’re doing the right thing, and they don’t require the thing that scares almost everyone: change. The only one who knows that there is an unfinished puzzle in our soul is us, so if we hide that knowledge from ourselves, we tend to resort to other things to make us feel complete. Like patterns.
Not very organized, I know. Just thought I'd share. :)
There's a year full of emotions coming up. I better be ready for it.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Models
I know a few people who want to be models when they grow up. That's great. But what will they be modeling? They will probably, hopefully, be modest fashion models. But that is not an easy thing to do, so I worry.
I know more than a few people who look up to fashion models. Because of who they are? What they model? I'm not sure, but I still don't see any problem with that.
I know many, many, people who see a beautiful model and although they see her moral flaws, wish that they could be exactly where she is in life, looking and feeling exactly like she does.
This is where a problem arises.
Let's remember the definition of a model:
Model
mod·el (mŏd'l) pronunciation
n.
1. A small object, usually built to scale, that represents in detail another, often larger object.
2. A preliminary work or construction that serves as a plan from which a final product is to be made: a clay model ready for casting.
2. Such a work or construction used in testing or perfecting a final product: a test model of a solar-powered vehicle.
3. A schematic description of a system, theory, or phenomenon that accounts for its known or inferred properties and may be used for further study of its characteristics: a model of generative grammar; a model of an atom; an economic model.
What are our models? Who or what are we modeling ourselves after? Are we testing and perfecting, or waiting and breaking? What mold are we pushing ourselves into? Or are we making our own mold? We have to find our models, or we'll mold into the same shape that everyone else molding into.
I know more than a few people who look up to fashion models. Because of who they are? What they model? I'm not sure, but I still don't see any problem with that.
I know many, many, people who see a beautiful model and although they see her moral flaws, wish that they could be exactly where she is in life, looking and feeling exactly like she does.
This is where a problem arises.
Let's remember the definition of a model:
Model
mod·el (mŏd'l) pronunciation
n.
1. A small object, usually built to scale, that represents in detail another, often larger object.
2. A preliminary work or construction that serves as a plan from which a final product is to be made: a clay model ready for casting.
2. Such a work or construction used in testing or perfecting a final product: a test model of a solar-powered vehicle.
3. A schematic description of a system, theory, or phenomenon that accounts for its known or inferred properties and may be used for further study of its characteristics: a model of generative grammar; a model of an atom; an economic model.
What are our models? Who or what are we modeling ourselves after? Are we testing and perfecting, or waiting and breaking? What mold are we pushing ourselves into? Or are we making our own mold? We have to find our models, or we'll mold into the same shape that everyone else molding into.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Grow with the flow
"Tori was quite sneaky when she was little, but I think she grew out of it."
Hmmm...can we really 'grow out of' something? Can we actually lose parts of our character? Can we simply grow out of ways we live, and principles we were raised on? Can our timing and vocabulary change the way our mind functions?
You are who you are. You don't grow out of anything. You either learn to control, cover, or replace. The only thing that changes as we grow older besides our appearance is our knowledge and experience. With knowledge and experience, our timing gets better and we contribute to the "don't do this again" section of our brain. But we don't lose anything (except baby fat :P) as we get older, we merely add on to whatever we already had. That's why being "like unto a child" is possible. That why we watch a movie and cry because we see the potential we have to be better than we are. Time is constantly passing, we are constantly messing up, and constantly growing up. There's nothing we can ever do about that. But somehow we're fine. How? Because it's in our blood to progress. When we aren't progressing, we're depressing. Our body and spirit live to grow, and our mind adapts to the things that we change. Maybe personality complexes are founded on childhood weaknesses that people haven't found a way to cover, control, or replace in a way that promotes growth. Not knowing how to go about growing, probably would result in a skewed perspective of who we think we are. But we are how we let ourselves grow, and we don't ever "grow out of" who we are.
Maybe I'm choosing to grow into a sad, sad, teen with a lot of day-dreamable boring classes. I'll analyze the phrase "walk in someone else's shoes" later. Tune in. ;)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Pity Party
I haven't been exactly what you'd call enjoying teaching at SAEF. In fact, well...this is a public blog so nevermind. I feel really unbalanced lately. I'm trying to figure out what I'm missing. In such a full life, it's hard to beleive that there is something missing, but it feels that way. I think I feel a little invaded.
Wow, I sound like a warped version of an entry from a 9-year-olds journal. Now, THAT is something be emo about. :P
Yay for good movies! hehehe.
Wow, I sound like a warped version of an entry from a 9-year-olds journal. Now, THAT is something be emo about. :P
Yay for good movies! hehehe.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
get real
You don't have to call me
and say you're sorry
I'm already gone
You don't have to call me and break my heart
Each time I try movin' on, oh
You don't have to call, anymore, oh yeah
You don't have to call me
and say you're sorry
I'm already gone
You don't have to call me and break my heart
Each time I try movin' on, oh
You don't have to call, anymore, oh yeah
You don't have to call me
Monday, June 23, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
A WARNING
WHEN U R READING THIS DONT STOP OR
SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN! MY NAME IS
SUMMER I AM 15 YEARS OLD i have BLONDE
HAIR ,MANY SCARS no NOSE OR EARS.. I
AM DEAD. IF U DONT COPY THIS JUST LIKE
FROM THE RING, COPY N POST THIS ON 5
MORE SITES.. OR.. I WILL APPEAR ONE
DARK QUIET NIGHT WHEN UR NOT ExPECTING
IT BY YOUR BED WITH A KNIFE AND KILL
U. THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL
HAPPEN TO U IF YOU POST THIS ON 5 MORE
PAGES
U BETTER SAFE YOURSELF FROM THE BLONDE,
EARLESS, NOSELESS, DEAD, KNIFE-BEARING
GIRL!*
(*I added that part :P)
SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN! MY NAME IS
SUMMER I AM 15 YEARS OLD i have BLONDE
HAIR ,MANY SCARS no NOSE OR EARS.. I
AM DEAD. IF U DONT COPY THIS JUST LIKE
FROM THE RING, COPY N POST THIS ON 5
MORE SITES.. OR.. I WILL APPEAR ONE
DARK QUIET NIGHT WHEN UR NOT ExPECTING
IT BY YOUR BED WITH A KNIFE AND KILL
U. THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL
HAPPEN TO U IF YOU POST THIS ON 5 MORE
PAGES
U BETTER SAFE YOURSELF FROM THE BLONDE,
EARLESS, NOSELESS, DEAD, KNIFE-BEARING
GIRL!*
(*I added that part :P)
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Epitaph for Victoria Brown
Written by: Alex Kim
Victoria Lee Brown,
was sometimes called or known
as a "sockrocker," even though
it was impossible for our socks
to fall off by themselves. But she had a
hope in her heart that she could make
the people's socks fall off.
Sometime now, I hope, she realizes
there's somethings that can't
happen and that is one of 'em.
And there was no one to
hold her when she fell as
a sockrocker with her socks and
broken heart, forever!
Victoria Lee Brown,
was sometimes called or known
as a "sockrocker," even though
it was impossible for our socks
to fall off by themselves. But she had a
hope in her heart that she could make
the people's socks fall off.
Sometime now, I hope, she realizes
there's somethings that can't
happen and that is one of 'em.
And there was no one to
hold her when she fell as
a sockrocker with her socks and
broken heart, forever!
good music
http://www.myspace.com/candlefuse
I found these guys on youtube and myspace. They're worth looking into, but I'm not obessed quite yet.
I found these guys on youtube and myspace. They're worth looking into, but I'm not obessed quite yet.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I used to <3> this song, so I was listening to it the other day, and I realized how emo it was. Emo-ness rocks
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
You should know
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you;ve been gone
Thursday, April 17, 2008
who'd believe the randomness of me
ALRIGHT. I'm here and typing so we'll see if I stop now that I've started. You know what I don't like? I don't like the fact that I'm not going anywhere this summer. it really stinks. seriously. I envy everyone who's leaving. right now I'm so sick of routine and a busy schedule. I have a total of 4 tutoring jobs! I tutor 12 hours a week. yuuuck. ewy, ewy, ewy. If I didn't have my dad throwing ESL books at me I would be doomed. Mom's always saying, "you better start saving now!" so I figure I might as well, but it's still ewy. when tikla comes I may scoot off some of my tutoring to her. :P she needs the money more than me. Speaking of tikla, I can't wait until she comes! <3<3<3
Anyways, I'm not quite sure what the purpose of this post is. I suppose it's to have at least something posted until David sings another song on American Idol. Either that or I really needed to take a break from facebook. :P I'm thinking it's a combination of both. On the other hand, i think it had something to do with how my brain slipped out of my head 3 hours ago, before my computer class started and suddenly made it hard to think about anything at all. gah. it's a good thing there's no math on fridays, my brain would be in super duper trouble.
Vote for david if you like me. ;)
Anyways, I'm not quite sure what the purpose of this post is. I suppose it's to have at least something posted until David sings another song on American Idol. Either that or I really needed to take a break from facebook. :P I'm thinking it's a combination of both. On the other hand, i think it had something to do with how my brain slipped out of my head 3 hours ago, before my computer class started and suddenly made it hard to think about anything at all. gah. it's a good thing there's no math on fridays, my brain would be in super duper trouble.
Vote for david if you like me. ;)
Thursday, April 3, 2008
american idol update
Just in case anyone cares besides me, David Archuleta is in the top 8 finalists now. whee!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
emo thoughts of losing people forever
Girl's camp rocked! If you want to know why, then read taylor's latest post. We seem to have the same favorite part of camp. ;)
I was thinking the other day, (amazing as that sounds) and I all of the sudden started freaking out, imagining living on saipan for almost 4 more years without vanessa. ahh! Everyone keeps leaving me! Tikla's gone, so is Joe, Jenny and Myana, the lonsdales, etc. Now vanessa, taylor, caroline, jen-jen, erwina, daniel, and dido, are all going off somewhere forever, the nelson's and welch's may be leaving saipan for good too, and I'm really not okay with any of those things happening. The feeling here on Saipan is something that has everything to do with the people. It makes Saipan worth it. Of course everyone has big plans, (except me! :P) but when it all boils down and you've all finally got what you wanted or got pretty darn close, then I think we'll look back and have a few things to say about saipan. A few thank you's and a few sighs of relief. I wish I had spent more of my young childhood here, and anyone who has should be grateful. But there's always a time to let go of good things so that you can grasp better things. I hope that everyone who's leaving grasps good things, and then email me all about them! (No, I don't mean hott guys, vanessa. don't go grasping them. please. ;)
I love you guys! sincerely! and I miss you already vanessa! ( jen jen and tay are going to be here all the way until August! :P hehehe)
I was thinking the other day, (amazing as that sounds) and I all of the sudden started freaking out, imagining living on saipan for almost 4 more years without vanessa. ahh! Everyone keeps leaving me! Tikla's gone, so is Joe, Jenny and Myana, the lonsdales, etc. Now vanessa, taylor, caroline, jen-jen, erwina, daniel, and dido, are all going off somewhere forever, the nelson's and welch's may be leaving saipan for good too, and I'm really not okay with any of those things happening. The feeling here on Saipan is something that has everything to do with the people. It makes Saipan worth it. Of course everyone has big plans, (except me! :P) but when it all boils down and you've all finally got what you wanted or got pretty darn close, then I think we'll look back and have a few things to say about saipan. A few thank you's and a few sighs of relief. I wish I had spent more of my young childhood here, and anyone who has should be grateful. But there's always a time to let go of good things so that you can grasp better things. I hope that everyone who's leaving grasps good things, and then email me all about them! (No, I don't mean hott guys, vanessa. don't go grasping them. please. ;)
I love you guys! sincerely! and I miss you already vanessa! ( jen jen and tay are going to be here all the way until August! :P hehehe)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
girls camp is going to rock this year!
Why?
-because the it's on managaha where the theme
-"like the stars" is perfect
-because you can really see the stars on managaha
-I'm in charge of easy stuff.
-i'm helping make the tent assignments (well, that's what they think we're doing anyway...hehehe :P)
-fluffy flip-flops
-awards
-hanging out
-skipping school
-pranks on the YCL's (oops, did I just type that?)
-messing around
-being a goofy mia maid
-singing kumbya with caroline ;)
-wrapping tamara's head with a pink cloth if jen-jen decides that tamara's skull is cracked.
I'm really looking forward to that last one. alright, my brain is leaving. i guess that means it's time to go to english.
-because the it's on managaha where the theme
-"like the stars" is perfect
-because you can really see the stars on managaha
-I'm in charge of easy stuff.
-i'm helping make the tent assignments (well, that's what they think we're doing anyway...hehehe :P)
-fluffy flip-flops
-awards
-hanging out
-skipping school
-pranks on the YCL's (oops, did I just type that?)
-messing around
-being a goofy mia maid
-singing kumbya with caroline ;)
-wrapping tamara's head with a pink cloth if jen-jen decides that tamara's skull is cracked.
I'm really looking forward to that last one. alright, my brain is leaving. i guess that means it's time to go to english.
Monday, March 3, 2008
back into swing
I haven't blogged, like really blogged, for a long time. Not that it matters. Life is a little crazy right now.
I'll prove it to you:
I'm getting ready for my brown belt for Judo in a couple weeks! Whoo! I've had to work hard for that, and there's still a ton I need to do. After Seminary I walk to Lau-Lau Bay and then go to NMC for school. After school I'm loaded with essays and homework, and on top of that, tutoring. By the time that's half done it's time for Judo. After Judo I eat dinner and I'm usually really hungry because I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch. :S After dinner I try to finish my homework, end up staying up until around 11 at night at average. If I'm not dead tired at that point, which I usually am, then I open my email and have enough energy to read through a couple, tell myself that I'll email later, and blog way later, set my alarm clock for 5:15 and fall into my waiting bed. I don't recommend getting an AA degree before you're 16Ugh. This may sound geeky, but I look forward to Sunday's because they are the only days when I can breathe, and have a day of rest. Even Saturdays are crazy homework days, since I can't do schoolwork on Sunday. So, that's my defense against not blogging.
Besides, I'm addicted to facebook, so it's hard to keep up, alright?
;)
I'll prove it to you:
I'm getting ready for my brown belt for Judo in a couple weeks! Whoo! I've had to work hard for that, and there's still a ton I need to do. After Seminary I walk to Lau-Lau Bay and then go to NMC for school. After school I'm loaded with essays and homework, and on top of that, tutoring. By the time that's half done it's time for Judo. After Judo I eat dinner and I'm usually really hungry because I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch. :S After dinner I try to finish my homework, end up staying up until around 11 at night at average. If I'm not dead tired at that point, which I usually am, then I open my email and have enough energy to read through a couple, tell myself that I'll email later, and blog way later, set my alarm clock for 5:15 and fall into my waiting bed. I don't recommend getting an AA degree before you're 16Ugh. This may sound geeky, but I look forward to Sunday's because they are the only days when I can breathe, and have a day of rest. Even Saturdays are crazy homework days, since I can't do schoolwork on Sunday. So, that's my defense against not blogging.
Besides, I'm addicted to facebook, so it's hard to keep up, alright?
;)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
laughter is the closest distance between people
I love Madison, Leona, Maryana, Marystar, Rima, and Sister Nelson. I love mia maids.
and laurels.
and always beehives.
I love laughter.
I love the united feeling of friends.
I love this church.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
How do you educate a heart?
I think intaking copious amounts of red food-coloring on Valentine's Day years ago has affected my thinking abilities now...lol Valentine's Day is pretty pointless. I suppose it's a good time to reveal to the world who you love, if you want to do that sometime, and eating chocolate is fun, but I mean seriously...the whole holiday is madness. It's an awkward obligation that people feel they have to involve themselves in and things go a little crazy. Girls cry if they don't get anything (LOL!) and brag if they do. Disgusting. Roses are expensive and more of them are given on Feburary 14th then hugs are. In my opinion, Valentine's Day is a fake way of showing love. The way of showing love that looks special regardless of whether it really is or not. That bugs me. The most sincere, special moments and gifts, usually occur on days less in the spotlight, scenes less recognized, and words more meaningful.
Then again, wearing pink hearts and red heels for the whole month makes up for the extreme dorkiness. :D
Then again, wearing pink hearts and red heels for the whole month makes up for the extreme dorkiness. :D
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Decor!
Well, I'm in computer class right now. lol. i finished the assignment already, (Insert Clip Art Chapter 3) so it's all good. It's a three hour class on Friday, so it's not my favorite class ever, but my teacher is nice, and lets me email and blog when I'm done. :P This dude next to me has been on myspace the WHOLE time. LoL. He's "not ashamed"! The teacher walks by and he doesn't even minimize it. :P He's got in trouble 3 times now. I wonder what he's name is...lol Sorry if this is random, and makes no sense, I'm kind of out of order right now because I was up last night cutting paper and sweeping up glitter that was all over the kitchen floor. My hands ache from cutting hearts. Last night me and Skylar made a pinata that is suppoesdly shaped like a heart. (haha, get it? we're going to break the heart! ha.ha.ha.) Just imagine that it's a heart, okay?
;)
Everyone better come to the dance, cuz I stink at hitting pinatas even without a blindfold. (I'll bring a camera taylor just in case it's just us...haha) ;) How does Emelaine do this every other month? :o She's amazing. *sigh*
;)
Everyone better come to the dance, cuz I stink at hitting pinatas even without a blindfold. (I'll bring a camera taylor just in case it's just us...haha) ;) How does Emelaine do this every other month? :o She's amazing. *sigh*
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
don't let me wear out my shoes
bro. conner: "5 times each side!"
vanessa: "throw me nice, ok?"
me: "uhhh...ok"
I throw, she WHAMS.
vanessa: "ow."
me: "sorry..."
-Repeat 5x-
:P
Judo is becoming one of my favorite things to do. I love it! I feel safe and protected even if I'm by myself, and that's a really good feeling to have. I didn't really get into it last year, but now I'm giving it my all. You wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alley at night.....watch out.
lol
Probably the best part about it all is watching the little kids fight each other. :P When Justin Rider is in the mood, it's adorable. I've never seen Li do judo, but from what I hear, he's a little pro! :D I never thought I'd be so into something like this, but it releases...well, everything! Stress, emotions, anger, moodiness, and attitudes. Really refreshing. I seriously hope I can get a brown belt this year...
vanessa: "throw me nice, ok?"
me: "uhhh...ok"
I throw, she WHAMS.
vanessa: "ow."
me: "sorry..."
-Repeat 5x-
:P
Judo is becoming one of my favorite things to do. I love it! I feel safe and protected even if I'm by myself, and that's a really good feeling to have. I didn't really get into it last year, but now I'm giving it my all. You wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alley at night.....watch out.
lol
Probably the best part about it all is watching the little kids fight each other. :P When Justin Rider is in the mood, it's adorable. I've never seen Li do judo, but from what I hear, he's a little pro! :D I never thought I'd be so into something like this, but it releases...well, everything! Stress, emotions, anger, moodiness, and attitudes. Really refreshing. I seriously hope I can get a brown belt this year...
Monday, January 28, 2008
:'(
Sometimes when you expect things, they don't happen. Other times, when you least expect them, they do. So it was when I heard that the prophet of the LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away. We'll miss his example, his wit, and his impenetrable optimism.He's now back with his sweetheart Marjorie. Tears of sorrow at being apart from his best friend have now transformed themselves into tears of joy. So, I should be happy for Gordon Hinckley, and celebrate that he has written the final chapter of a life excellently lived.
But I'm selfishly going to miss him. He's the prophet I used to sing about in primary...and he wasn't even 100 yet. :'(
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Emo tions
simple thoughts,
meaningless words,
just stop.
head over heels,
but no heels to wear,
just smile.
too much,
or not enough,
what do I do?
Blue emeralds,
green sapphires,
sparkle and glow,
until they burn.
ouch.
Now they're ashes.
What do I do?
immature,
emo,
everone
just grow up.
ugh.
What do I do?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
With Me
I don't want this moment
to ever end,
Where everything's nothing
without you.
I'll wait here forever just to
to see you smile
Cause it's true,
I am nothing without you.
Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.
Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what I did and so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.
All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.
I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
that I won't let go.
to ever end,
Where everything's nothing
without you.
I'll wait here forever just to
to see you smile
Cause it's true,
I am nothing without you.
Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.
Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what I did and so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.
All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.
I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.
I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
that I won't let go.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Get Tangled Up In Me
Can't you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
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