15ft Deep Thoughts

As I recently celebrated my 15th birthday, I decided to break out my old notebooks from 2005-present, and I rediscovered this:

Feelings

Before Melissa can think, she feels. Before James has thoughts, he has emotions. Before there are reasons, there are reactions. Feelings come first. We must be touched by the lives of other to act morally. I'm not talking about liking other people. We may like someone or not. But we can still be moved by their fate and feel for their condition. Connecting with others that touch our lives is expressed with sympathy and empathy. People who lack empathy, who can't feel what another person feels, are cold and alienated. And cold, distant people scare us because we are afraid they will let us down, turn away from us when we most need them, or our break hearts without even knowing or caring that they have. Because humans can't survive alone, sensitivity toward the lives of others is vital. Feeling like you can be an even better person because of someone else is something that we take for granted. It keeps us alive. Without emotions we would be like someone who possesses intelligence enough to be able to analyze, but who lacks the emotional depth to be able to put that good skill to use. Everything would be equal; nothing would be more valuable or important than anything else. We wouldn't care. We would know we were making a mess, but would have no motivation to do anything about it. Our social lives would be in shambles, and we would know why, but we would lack the will to keep our good character intact.

But it's our decision all the same. When we feel for someone, when we are touched, we want to act on their behalf. The capacity to feel--to care--is what that motivation is. It is possible for someone to go through the motions and do the right thing, but still in a way, get it wrong. Doing the right thing is vital, but it's just as important that it's done with the right feeling. The point of helping in many cases is to reassure each other that we care, to show patience, loyalty, considerateness, and empathy.

The question is: Is there any way to educate a heart? I believe that feelings are either healthy or stifled. Our beginning feelings toward empathy and emotions are what we carry years, and years, until we have a definite reason to embrace or expel them. The idea that girls are emotional and guys aren't, makes us neglect the emotional lives of boys. Caring is the most important thing. Some people are expressive, some reserved, some emotional, some intellectual. No one personality type is more inclined to be caring. It is the awareness of feelings, not how they are expressed, that makes the difference. Helping others willingly, without expectation of an award, comes first form our feelings, as we reach our in an effort to bond to others. It is when feelings are hidden and out of view that they are the most dangerous.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself..."
People must hold themselves in high regard in order to extend themselves to others. If you thought you were a worthless person, then you would treat others as though they weren't worth anything either. Higher self-esteem = caring deeper for others.

Sometimes we let people orbit around our hearts, but never let them in, because we are frightened of changing the pattern. Why? Patterns make us feel complete, like we’re doing the right thing, and they don’t require the thing that scares almost everyone: change. The only one who knows that there is an unfinished puzzle in our soul is us, so if we hide that knowledge from ourselves, we tend to resort to other things to make us feel complete. Like patterns.



Not very organized, I know. Just thought I'd share. :)
There's a year full of emotions coming up. I better be ready for it.