but it's so so real

Weird how time can fly by and yet how sickeningly slowly it can crawl.
Weird how frightening change is.
Weird how we despise our fears, yet allow them to linger.
Weird how it's the little things that shape us.
Weird how we cry when we're happy.
Weird how pride can interfere with trust.
Weird how breathing keeps us alive.
Weird how age determinds readiness.
Weird how 2+2 always equals 4.
Weird how we wait for the miracle that is in our power to perform.

Weird.

Guilty

I need an undo button for my life.
Everyone says you learn from mistakes, but they still happened, and that's hard.
Now even when I'm not doing anything wrong it feels yucky.
"Sorry" doesn't encompass the feeling.

:'(

My amazing pessimist ;)

Anywhere But Here- Safetysuit

Is this the end of the moment
or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be
or maybe be

Everything that I never thought could happen
or ever come to pass and I wonder
If maybe,
maybe I could be all you ever dreamed,
cause you are

Beautiful inside, so lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

Is this a natural feeling
or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember or just a cold day in December, I wonder
If maybe,
maybe I could be all you ever dreamed,
cause you are

Beautiful inside, so lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

Infinite possibility

can suck.
When it brings
eternal uncertainty, along with it.

Without fail, there's always something I mess up, and another barrier is enforced. Never stop to wonder how hard it is to do the things that I actually do right. Where is the reward in trying my best? Where is the motivation for trying, if every time I fail it's another slash in my freedom?
~
All of these dreams in my head keep spinning round,
I'm grabbing my paper and pencil to pin 'em down.
I'll sketch my world as a prettier place,
Draw myself with a smiley face,
And make this picture perfect.

But all of these lines on my page won't mean anything
Until I learn to erase the ones that I don't need.
I'm covering up the stupid mistakes
Starting over and over again,
To make this picture perfect.

I'll start with where I'm standing now
And begin shaping where I want to be
No one can tear my picture down
Because it's me.
And as long as I'm still proud
Of this self portrait I'm creating,
I'm doing fine.

Every now and again someone comes along,
They try to box me into a corner I've drawn.
But pushing the walls down and struggling free,
makes me strong so I can keep,
making this picture perfect.

No one to tell us no, or where to go

It's not perfect, but we're close.

It's not fear, it's timing. And towering barriers. And thoughts never thought. Both waiting for the right moment. Never finding it, and not knowing how to create it... .

Hm, I think I just nailed that. How awesome.


Haha...

There’s that charming face you wear so well

Was I wrong to take this bound?
Cuz I’m in love with what I found.

But you’re coy and you’re holding things back
And I know you but I can’t see through
These doors that you won’t let me in


~~

-Aproximately 8:27pm-

Tommy: Guess what happened at school today?!?!
Jake: What?!?
*Pause*
Tommy: NOTHING!
*Hysterical laughter from both.*

Sometimes I wonder whether certain select few organisms on Earth actually did come from Mars. I think that was confirmed tonight. It was the eating plain pizza pepper toppings that really solidified that confirmation. Or maybe it was the staring contest. I'm still not sure. :P

Time to spare

Tikla's engaged.
Engaged.
To be married.
At 19.
That's craaaazy.
I'm think I'm the only one who's not ready for this.
She seems to be. He seems to be. Mom seems to be.
I guess I'll have to be.

I love you Tikla.
(You temple stealer you...)
:P

Cute scaredy-cat

You gotta admit that's what you are.
A confident, cool, cute, awesome, always warm,
scaredy-cat.

;P

<3

I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far

Tori equals :D

We got bunnies.
I love them. :)
I got contacts.
I can see!
My room is messy.
I don't care.
My project is sloppy.
It's done.
I'm laughing.
I'm not supposed to be.
Skylar gets awesome punishments.
I'm angry.
My hymns are submitted.
Late again.
My phone is magical.
Yay!
I didn't write in my journal yesterday.
Weird.
I just ate a handful of chocolate chips.
Shh.

<3

Icecream for bliss

Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding chaotic
Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I falter again
Forgetting to breathe
I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Pass me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
Cause I'm ready to fall

Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Just show me
I need you to slow me down
Slow me down
Slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe
Somebody please
Slow me down

Directionally challenged

Should I stay right here and leave it up to fate,
or take control?
Mmm, I just don't know.