Oh, what wisdom

A wise person once said, "In life use your head, and don't harm others'"
Then the wise person scratched her chin.
Blinked twice.
Shrugged.
Then with amazing perfection hit the publish button--

It's about time

I was spinning circles
chasing shadows
haunted by the ghost of a chance
that you might want me.
Now I can't tell
I fooled myself
and chose someone else
to play the part that I can't be.
I went to far
fell to fast to stop
and handed you my heart
just to see you drop it.

I loved where now I ache
nothing like a burn
snap me awake to a fresh start
I won't break apart again.
Tick-tock start the clock anew
knock that pedestal
out from beneath you
and get you off my mind,
it's about time.

I saw you as a trophy
I was set on winning.
You changed the game
bent the rules
and shot down my pride.
I've gone without you this long
even if I had won
the shine would probably hurt my eyes
and I've been blind
wanting what I see not knowing
what's behind your charm
now the truth is showing...

Simply Charming (or not...)

A wolf in sheep's clothing.
A rusty knight in shinning armor.
A jar labeled 'delicious' that expired 3 years ago.

Confusion is following me around in the strangest forms. I never know what to think, I never know what to believe. So I choose not to think, and spend my time here...:)

People are so hard to get along with. The natural man is completely self-centered. Sometimes I wish we didn't have so many complicated emotions. You can never tell what a person is really feeling, unless they tell you and even then you can't be sure...especially when guys start acting like girls. Life can get even more confusing. Yes, that is possible. I wish I could have everyone in my life stand up and say how they feel about me. That way I'm not in this struggle to decipher what I should do and how I should act for different people. At this time, I don't care if the whole world hates me...I just want to know what people really think. The same people that I think are out to get me, use me, and hate my guts, will surprise me with something so opposite that it makes me wonder again...this life is so confusing. I guess it's supposed to be. Slowly, I'm hoping, things will unroll and there will be no more gray, just black and white. So that we can be so sure if something is to be, or not to be.

rock on.

Simply Wearing

I spent this morning trying to explain what "halfbrokentoaster" means to some ESL students at LISS, and how it's kind of like another name for me. I'm pretty sure I only succeeded in making them think that I have crazy parents who believe in giving their children several names...I also had to explain the meaning of 'rock on' and explain that 'rock off' doesn't mean anything. My friend, her name is So Young :D, got a huge grin on her face and said, "I made up an English word!" Now every time I say rock on, she'll respond with "rock off!" ahhhhh, what the heck...I'll save "sockrocker" for a different day.

Tori's random, but absolutely accurately correct thought for the day:
"Girls are so winning the cook-off tonight!"

(You can't get much better then accurately correct, I mean when things are accurately false, then you have trouble...;)

Simply Here

I love music. and I love Elisa. you know, in the sister way...hahaha. I like finding someone that wants the same things as you. This whole 'band thing' may be exceptionally immature and lame, but it dosen't really have anything to do with being a part of something, performing, or becoming famous...(not to point fingers...lol) it's about music. So the latest name is 'simply here'. I'm leaning towards no name at all. I just want to be simply simple...;) and if it involves hanging with friends so much the better.

It's about time I confessed something. It's been a while...:P I started thinking about growing up. Most likely because I'm going to have to deal with Tikla growing up too fast, and I started stressing over what I'm going to major in, if I'm going to go on a mission...etc. I felt at least 17, and I was just about to start packing my bags to set them next to tikla's, that's when I kinda slapped myself in the face and told myself to go do something immature and more my age. So I made some faces in the mirror, wrote down everything I was feeling, thought about how much I loved being a beehive :D, and called up elisa to tell her when our next 'band practice' was going to be. Life is a lot more rockin' when you enjoy what you got. How about we call that 'tori's thought for the day'? Works for me.
"Life is a lot more rockin' when you enjoy what you got."

For a second there I was ready to go to BYU-(not sure which one yet...haha)with tikla, but now I don't know exactly how, or why, but for now I'm simply here, but more importantly I'm here and happy!

Simply Beautiful

Alright. I have been lieing. sorta. All of the sudden I don't want to turn 14. that may sound so contradicting but, seriously. i'm scared to grow up and have to be a yucky mia maid grandma, then go to college and stuff. after you grow up there's no going back. and another thing I want to clear up...rain. It is amazing and all that, lol, but it's not my total passion. Although usually it looks like it is because I have a boring life and i sit around looking outside all day so thats all I notice...j/k

I just thought I'd clear those two things up...:)I have not been trying to be some obsessive, immature, pre-teen. :D Wait a minute...too late. oh well. no need to cry over spilled milk. ;)

Tori's thought for the day: "Only geeks go to geek dances..." (that means you rock madison! ;)

Lake Victoria

Girls Camp! Good stuff.
So I was in the cool tent, right? Belle's Bubblicious Babalati's. Not to be confused with Babalti. We won best cheer, and everything was going just peachy until the last night. Even then, it started out dreamy. It was raining and the babalati's were out on the rocks by the ocean. Later, we were back in our tent being weird, playing MO...lol Finally, we all got somewhat comfortable. Once we were in a half sleep, Tamara sits up and says, "There's a rat in here!" We don't really believe her until she starts explaining how it crawled over her. Jenny walks in from after being outside and we tell her about the rat. She thinks we were just trying to scare her, until she steps down next to Myana and we hear this squeak. Jenny goes crazy screaming and Maryana and Madison grab onto me. All of the sudden everyone is wide awake, and scrambling out of the tent screaming like some pathetic evacuation. When we are all out of the tent and Myana's hair is out of Maryana's hand and back where is should be, someone suggests that we got get the priesthood to help us. Poor sleepy Leimson picked up every single wet soggy pile of junk in our tent searching for our rat. The police came too, perhaps they heard our screams as well. We had to tear Jenny and Myana away from them actually. I, myself was not that captivated.

Back in the tent, everyone refused to sleep in the now classified: "rat tent" So we all five slept in the the even more multilated tent, that was missing poles and it had "BENSON" written on it. That explains a lot. So in the other tent, madison legs were sticking to mine, because we were both trying to avoid a puddle forming at our feet later named, Lake Victoria. lol I was back to back with Jenny, and Myana was literally on top of Maryana. It was some of the most miserable, cramped, night of my life. My scriptures, camp manual, any clean dry clothes I had left, and my uke, were completely wet and dripping.

Oh yeah, Go babalati's!